MUTUAL TRUST, RESPECT, LOYALTY

     As a teenager, friends and family are the hardest things to find and accept. Finding friends who you love and care about, and accepting who your family is no matter their faults, is nearly impossible to comprehend as a kid. Teenagers will believe anything they hear when it is said enough times and that is exactly why it is hard to develop real relationships, because people will lie to earn trust and loyalty and create stories that are intended to manipulate someone to gain an advantage. In the book City Of Bones by Cassandra Clare she experiments with different types of characters and plays with all of their relationships, creating more twisted and more complicated stories for each person on each page. The book, although a fantasy based on these shadow hunters or demon fighters in New York and magic and vampires and alternate dimensions, can relate to any teenagers in the real world today and can help people understand the importance of truth, trust and acceptance in all relationships. City Of Bones takes the reader through a roller-coaster of emotions, adding new plot twists and unthinkable conclusions, but through out the entire book the characters show teenagers that all relationships are built and broken off mutual respect, loyalty, and trust.

        

        

     Many friendships are made in the first five minutes of knowing a person, determining whether or not you are compatible and which qualities you admire and which you can’t stand, what decisions are respectable and which are definitely not.  Many times these decisions are come to when someone feels as though they can respect you and the choices you make as a person. Alec is a shadow hunter, a half human who kills demons and downworlders, who lives in New York with his sister Isabelle and his “friend” Jace, both of whom are shadow hunters as well. Alec is gay and is absolutely in love with Jace but can’t tell him or anyone because being gay is not acceptable in his community and he would be looked down upon for admitting it. But he watches Jace from a distance and admires every move he makes and every step he takes. Alec respects Jace, both in battle and as a person, and therefore in attached to him immediately and loves him from the beginning. Jace on the other hand holds himself away from Alec. Jace sees Alec as a brother and wants to protect him in every way possible because he feels as though that is his job. Like when Alec is almost killed by a greater demon and Jace in immediately put into shock and feels guilty as though it was his fault and Alec was his responsibility in battle and Jace let him down. But Jace never respects Alec throughout the book and is disgusted by some of the decisions he makes, and although Jace keeps it to himself it is obvious that Alec is more committed to Jace, as a friend and as more, and because the respect is not returned there friendship is not healthy and because Alec can’t trust Jace with the secret of how he really feels or who he really is shows the relationship between the boys is on thin ice.

     Other times the decision to become friends with someone is based entirely on trust and comfort. When Clary, a human who’s mother is taken by demons and then later discovers she is a shadow hunter as well, comes to the institute Alec immediately doesn’t like her and is not shy in showing so. Alec is threatened by her presence and by all the time she is spending with Jace and Isabelle and by the way Jace stands up for her any chance he gets in a way he never does for Alec. Alec finally takes Clary out into the hall at one point and decides she needs to go home and leave the shadow hunters alone and although he begins his rampage softly, he escalates quickly when she throws the fact that she knows he is gay and that he loves Jace in his face. He never respected the way she waltzed into the institute as though she belonged in the first place and aced as though Jace and Isabelle were hers, but he lost any and all respect he had left for her when she used the only thing he was ashamed of against him. Alec never felt comfortable around Clary and always seemed to be on the edge of his seat clutching a dagger with her in the room, and because he didn’t feel safe and easy around her there was no chance for a strong friendship between the two of them. People make cruel mistakes and in the moment decisions that then determine the way people look at them forever and their relationships are determined in only five minutes.

        

     Relationships are not only built on respect and loyalty and trust, but they are broken immediately when one of these are lost. It’s easy to lose someone’s respect or trust, but it is almost impossible to earn it back. Hodge, who is the shadow hunters tutor and mentor, has lived with Isabelle, Alec, and Jace for almost their entire lives and has become like a father to Jace and family to the others. The children feel as though they can go to Hodge for anything and they have gone to him whenever a problem arose or a situation needed an outside opinion. This kind of kinship and understanding and loyalty was built over years and the trust was still growing, but in one act, one day, one decision Hodge lost his most loyal “child” and betrayed his family. Hodge had traded the Mortal Cup, a really dangerous and powerful device that made humans shadow hunters, and Jace for his freedom from the walls of the institute. Hodge had practically raised Jace and Jace – someone who does not open up or trust easily – trusted Hodge with everything and was traded as though he didn’t mean anything to Hodge. Clary and Jace believed Hodges promises of love and care and protection and justice, so much so that they went straight to him with the Mortal Cup – never imagining the damage that was caused. Hodge lost the respect of Clary, who had watched the entire trading act, and lost Jace’s trust. Clary will never forgive Hodge because he threatened something she loves, and Jace will never trust Hodge again for obvious reasons. Trust is very hard to get and loyalty is even harder, but losing it is as simple as losing your keys. This situation applies to all relationships, maybe the decision made is not trading a life and a thousand others for freedom, but lying to a friend, or going behind someone’s back, or using something private against someone are all decisions made in the moment that betray trust and cut off loyalty completely.

     The worst part of this endeavor was that Hodge traded Jace and the Mortal Cup to Valentine, the evil character who can actually do no good at all and seems to be linked to each character in some devastating way. Hodge lied to the kids their entire lives saying that he regretted ever working for Valentine and that Valentine is a monster – when all along Hodge was still Valentines brain-washed minion and gave away his family for Valentines approval and appreciation. Hodge is to Valentine like Alec is to Jace, he follows his every breath and admire every word that comes out of his mouth and is loyal to him come hell or high water, but Valentine does not return the respect or loyalty. Valentine believes he is better kept a leader and a lone wolf and doesn’t allow himself admire any other being except himself. Valentine pities Hodge and admits that to his face and although he is grateful for the cup and for Jace, he leaves Hodge with his new freedom and just walks away as though Hodges work and years of effort meant nothing to him. Respect is hard to earn, trust even harder, but loyalty is the hardest. Having someone back you up no matter what is almost impossible to find and when it is found it isn’t always returned. A friendship or relationship cannot be strong and reliable if it is one sided and only one person is sticking around to fight for the other, the connection and devotion must be mutual.

     Every teenage girl falls head over heals for a guy sometime in her life and sometimes she is heartbroken, honestly most of the time she is heartbroken, but every once in a while there will be the lucky little girl who’s fella loves her back. It is the only way relationships work, when both people are willing to fight for each other, love each other, care for each other no matter what and constantly stand side by side in fights too tough for one person alone. In City Of Bones Jace is this boy for Clary and she happens to be the lucky girl, coincidentally they really are standing side by side in battles to rough for one person when dealing with major demons and evils. When Jace goes after Valentine he tells Clary to stay put about fifteen times, yet she still follows Jace all the way to the portal and helps in every way she can because she wouldn’t allow herself to leave Jace alone to fight one of the strongest villains in the demon world. Also, When Isabelle, Alec, Simon (Clary’s human best friend) Jace and Clary go to Luke’s house for evidence on where her mom could have been taken they are faced with a very powerful demon. Alec is almost killed trying to kill the demon himself to save Jace’s life and instead of running to see is Alec is alright in the moment, he ran to help save Clary’s life and make sure she was safe. Those two teenagers have each other’s backs and look out for each other in every situation. They only knew each other for two months and they were already risking their lives to save the other and telling one another secrets. But if their relationship was like Jace and Alec’s relationship – their teamwork and battle reassurance and mutual respect would not be possible because Jace didn’t go and help Alec even when Alec risked his life to save Jace’s. Clary and Jace help each other and grow and learn from each other and never leave one another behind or betray each other.

     Finally, relationships are built off understanding and forgiveness. I know I did not mention these before and honestly I would look for mutual respect, trust, and loyalty before forgiveness and understanding, but they are still two of the most important parts to a strong relationship. The book shows this by forming the relationship between Clary and her mother. Clary was raised a human and lived alone with her mother in NYC for her entire life, but what she didn’t know was that her mother had lived an entirely different life before having Clary. Through out the story, while her mother is kidnapped and Clary works her way to finding her, Clary discovers new pieces of information about her mothers previous life. Her mom was a shadow hunter, she was married to Valentine, she had another child and grew up in a demon world – yet she didn’t allow Clary any insight into that world and hid her from her real identity and life. At first when learning this information and that her mother, the only person she could trust and the only family she though she had, had lied to her for her entire life Clary was furious and didn’t even want to search for her mother or have anything to do with her. She felt as though she didn’t even know who her mom was, but then she realized that although a mom had kept the truth from her doesn’t mean her mother is a different person or was any worse then the woman who raised her alone. Friends and family grow close and apart but the only way to make sure the growing apart never really happens is to understand who the person you were given as a friend or a mom really is and understanding that some of the decisions people make are actually for the better and forgiving loved ones when necessary.

     Relationships have foundations that are always needed, when a relationship is one sided or one person can’t be trusted or relied on or makes decisions that are despicable the people aren’t happy or healthy and the relationship, whether family or friend or more, is not stable. But another aspect of just being a good person and being a good friend is seeing and accepting flaws. Jace can’t respect anyone who isn’t agreeing with him. Alec has serious trust issues. Hodge is selfish. Clary is naïve. Every person fictional or not has faults and insecurities. I know that I certainly have traits I am not proud of and aspects of my personality that people find incredibly annoying, but I also know that I am trustworthy and I understand what it means to treat people with the respect you wan to be treated with yourself. Relationships are built over time, broken in seconds, and cannot be successful without two people doing everything they can to make the other feel safe, loved, and cared for in any situation.